Dedicated to South Africans living abroad...and all lovers of Traditional South African food

Among the emails in my Inbox this morning was one from my friends Maggie and Ray who live in Melbourne. They had just bought a bread machine and Ray was bragging with his results. The other email was from Elzeth who is one of my suppliers of recipes, she sent me some cake and loaf recipes. So there was my theme for this newsletter, so scroll down to the recipe section and try out the recipes Elzeth sent.

Want to see some really good photos taken in and near Melbourne? My friend, Ray Theron has a great website containing his excellent photos! Ray has a gift for taking really good pictures, so scroll down to Featured Site and enjoy Ray's Cam! Be sure to vote for the best pic or drop Ray an email, he will really appreciate it!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So, one moose, two meese??

There’s neither egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren’t invented in England nor French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

Doesn’t it sound crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend, that you can comb through the annals of history, but not one single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it.

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats only vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run, and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell on another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was discombulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are those people who ARE spring chickens or who ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on!!

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up a watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it!!

And at this stage I’m beginning to doubt my own sanity!!

Classic Recipe

The MONTE CRISTO is a sandwich with ham and chicken (sometimes turkey) and cheese, usually Swiss cheese, dipped in beaten egg and grilled with butter until golden brown. All of the earliest mentions of the Monte Cristo on menus are from southern California in the early 1940s.

Usually made with white bread (but it is even better with homemade whole wheat bread). Spread a little Dijon mustard on one slice of bread, and mayonnaise on the other. Add some freshly ground pepper. Make a sandwich with: sliced ham sliced chicken (or turkey) sliced Swiss cheese (Gruyere is better)

Trim the crusts off the bread, pressing down slightly to sort of seal the edges of the sandwich as you cut the crusts off. (Cut the sandwich in two before dipping in the egg if desired)

Beat an egg with 2 tsp milk (try it with a sprinkle of nutmeg added)

Heat a pan with a tablespoon of butter on medium heat.

Dip the sandwich in the egg mixture and fry in the butter until golden brown on both sides.

Frequently sprinkled with powdered sugar, and traditionally served with raspberry preserves.

They are sometimes made with 3 slices of bread, ham and chicken on the bottom layer, and the cheese on the top layer of the sandwich. Restaurants will frequently deep fry Monte Cristo's. They are much better sautéed in a pan with butter.

Source: Food Reference e-Zine.
To subscribe send blank email to:  subscribe@foodreference.com

A 6 year old was asked where his Grandma lived. "Oh," He said, "She lives at the airport and when we want her we just go to get her. Then when we're done with having her visit we take her back to the airport!"

Because I'm a man......
......When I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire
clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call
a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man......
......When the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood
and stare at the engine as if I know what the heck I'm looking
at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other,
"I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these
darn computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man......
......When I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man......
......I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic
items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same
thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick
up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man......
......When one of our appliances stops working,
I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the repair
person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man......
...... I must hold the television remote control in
my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced,
I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I
was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man......
......There is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex, cars, or food, though
I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man......
......I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think
about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for
Mother's Day is okay, I don't need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my mom, too!

Because I'm a man......
......You don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man......
......I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought
what you were wearing five minutes ago was fin, too.
Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine.
Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man......
......And this is, after all, the 21st century,
I will share equally in the housework.
You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening,
the cleaning, and the dishes....... I'll do the rest.

Cooking Terms

Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid. (Ewwww!)

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat .

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

Coffee and Brittle Bones

by Dr. Jay Kenney

If there is an association between coffee drinking and osteoporosis, most people suspect it would be due to the caffeine. One study showed a lower bone mineral density in women who consumed more than 450 mg of caffeine daily. While the evidence suggests that women who consume 5 to 6 cups of coffee a day or more are at greater risk of osteoporosis, new evidence suggests that caffeine may not be the only culprit. Many studies have shown a correlation between the severity of osteoporosis and the severity of atherosclerosis. Indeed women with less bone mass tend to have more calcification in their cardiovascular system. New research suggests that increased levels of LDL-cholesterol may promote osteoporosis in addition to atherosclerosis.

Atherosclerosis begins when white blood cells called monocytes move into the artery wall, turn into macrophages and engulf oxidized, cholesterol-rich LDL particles. The macrophages become filled with cholesterol and die. When this happens they release chemicals that attract even more monocytes from the blood. This results in the growth of atherosclerotic plaques that eventually trigger most heart attacks and strokes in Americans. The more LDL in the blood, the more rapidly the arteries clog up.

Well, it turns out that high levels of LDL in the blood also get into the bones. In the bone, the oxidized LDLs again attract monocytes from the bloodstream. However, in the bone, these monocytes turn into osteoclasts. Osteoclasts are cells that break down bone tissue. So, increased LDL-cholesterol levels increase the number of osteoclasts in the bone and this speeds up the breakdown of bone tissue. This may explain why "statin" drugs (used to lower LDL-cholesterol in the blood) have been shown to reduce osteoporosis as well as atherosclerosis. It should also be noted that the most popular drug used to treat osteoporosis (Fosamax) lowers LDL and raises HDL levels.

Bottom Line:
The heavy consumption of unfiltered coffee may contribute to the development of both osteoporosis and heart disease by increasing LDL. Unfiltered coffee includes espresso, cappuccino, coffee made with a press, coffee made with a nylon or gold filter or any other coffee made without a paper filter. A diet that is low in salt and high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, non-fat dairy products and with a little fatty fish is best for preventing both osteoporosis and atherosclerosis because it lowers LDL and improves calcium balance.

[Source Communicating Food for Health]
To Subscribe to similar weekly articles, visit: http://www.zinester.com/lr/145639/7556460

The following was sent to me by Tint

Some Facts and Figures:

?? Each unit of conventionally generated electricity consumes 1,2 litres of water and
contributes 1kg of carbon dioxide to the problem of global warming.
?? South Africa will need more electricity generation capacity within three to five
years, and a decision needs to be made now about new power stations.
?? Presently, a government white paper stipulates that there should be an up to 5
percent increase in the use of green electricity by 2012.
Doing your bit:
?? Get energy wise and reduce your electricity use – this saves the environment and
money.
?? Make sure you switch off the lights and appliances when they are not in use.
?? Store hot water in a thermos – this will save you from boiling the kettle each time
you make a cup of tea.
?? Use a hotbox -- a cushion filled with recycled polystyrene -- when cooking rice,
soups or stews or keeping food warm. It prevents heat loss and cooking
continues at no cost.
?? Install a solar-water heater. Your geyser uses about 40% of your total electricity
consumption. It only takes about two years to recover the cost of the installation –
in savings – and you’ll be minimising your exposure to the risks of future price
hikes.
?? Insulate your water pipes and geyser and save water and electricity.
?? Use low-energy compact fluorescent light bulbs instead of normal bulbs. The
compact fluorescent bulbs cost R60 or so, but they last much longer and use less
electricity. They are especially good for lights that stay on for four hours or more.
?? Learn good fridge habits. Keep the door seal in good condition; and your fridge
75 percent full all the time, with water bottles, to minimise the amount of warm air
which enters the fridge to replace cooled air which ‘falls’ out when you open the
door.

KITCHEN TIPS

Remove sticky labels by applying baby oil to the label. Let it set and then remove the label by scrubbing with nylon.

When microwaving, cover items with coffee filters to prevent splattering in your microwave.

For evenly rounded tops on nut breads and muffins, grease baking pans or muffin cups on the bottom and only 1/2 inch up the sides. Do this and your batter will cling to the sides of the pan instead of sliding back down.

For soft, shiny crust on bread, brush loaves with margarine or butter before baking. For glossy, crispy crust, brush before baking with milk, water, or beaten egg.

You now have the chance to join over One Million WEEKLY winners of Europe's RICHEST Lottery, THE UK LOTTERY. All you need to do is go to https://www.playuklottery.com and click on the PLAY! button and follow the on-screen instructions. Simply REGISTER as a new player and then purchase your UK Lottery tickets for your chance to be a Pound Sterling MILLIONAIRE - WIN your DREAMS!

My website is interactive, there are a few pages you can contribute to:
Cocktails - I am now also collecting typically South African Cocktails, if you have any to contribute, please email me.
Elephant Stew - add your suggestion
Wacky Sarmies - add your fav sarmie (some great sarmie ideas here!)
Animal Facts - Some interesting stuff here Write a caption - new pic added
Discussion Forum - Add to a current discussion or start a new thread.

Looking for a specific South African recipe? Email me and I will do my best to find it for you!

When you have had a look at the recipes below, click here to visit the main recipe page on my site. 

Any comments, positive or otherwise on this Newsletter will be appreciated!

That's it for now,
Take care,
Peter

The Recipes
See Links for Metric Converter

BANANA LOAF
(Makes 1 loaf)
125 g butter or margarine
250 ml sugar (200 g)
2 extra-large eggs
5 ml vanilla essence
500 ml  Cake Flour (280 g)
10 ml baking powder
2 ml salt
5 ml bicarbonate of soda
250 ml mashed banana (3 large)
30 ml lemon juice
100 ml milk
30 g walnuts or pecan nuts, optional

1. Preheat oven to 180 °C.
2. Beat butter and sugar until creamy.
3. Add eggs, one at a time, and beat well after each addition. Add vanilla essence.
4. Sift dry ingredients and mix with banana mash into butter mixture.
5. Mix and spoon into a greased bread tin. Bake in preheated oven for ± 1 hour. When cool, serve sliced with butter.
Variations
• Substitute half of flour with Nutty Wheat.
• Substitute vanilla essence with almond essence.
• Replace milk with orange juice.
• Add 5 ml (1 t) mixed spice to the mixture.

CARROT AND PECAN NUT LOAF
(Makes 1 loaf)
500 ml  Cake Flour (280 g)
5 ml baking powder
3 ml bicarbonate of soda
3 ml ground cinnamon
2 ml salt
125 g butter or margarine
125 ml caramel brown sugar (100 g)
125 ml white sugar (100 g)
2 extra-large eggs
45 ml fresh orange juice
5 ml finely grated orange rind
375 ml finely grated carrots
125 ml pecan nuts, chopped (75 g)
125 ml sultanas (75 g)
CREAM CHEESE ICING
125 ml cream cottage cheese
15 ml orange juice
3 ml finely grated orange rind
625 ml icing sugar (400 g)
60 ml chopped pecan nuts

1. Preheat oven to 180 °C.
2. Sift dry ingredients together.
3. Cream the butter and sugars well together. Add eggs one at a time and beat well after each addition.
4. Add orange juice and rind to mixture. Add dry ingredients and mix well.
5. Stir in the carrots, nuts and sultanas. Pour into a well-greased 23 cm loaf tin and bake in preheated oven for about 1 hour. Leave in tin for a few minutes and turn out to cool off.
6. For icing: Mix the creamed cottage cheese, lemon juice and rind. Sift icing sugar and beat together until just smooth and fluffy.
7. Spread icing over cooled loaf and sprinkle with chopped nuts.

CHERRY LOAF
(Makes 1 loaf)
200 g soft butter
1 extra large egg, beaten
5 ml vanilla essence
625 ml  cake flour (350 g)
10 ml baking powder
2 ml salt
160 ml halved red glacé cherries (100 g)
125 ml water
225 g tin condensed milk

1. Cream butter, and add egg and essence. Sift dry ingredients together, and add
cherries. Add, with remaining ingredients, to creamed mixture.
2. Spoon into a lined and greased 23 cm loaf tin.
3. Bake in a preheated oven at 180 *C for 50 - 60 minutes.
4. Turn onto a wire rack to cool.

TIP
Roll cherries in flour to prevent them from sinking to the bottom.

CITRUS FRUIT RING
(Makes 1 cake)
125 g butter or margarine
250 ml sugar (200 g)
2 extra large eggs
500 ml  cake flour (280 g)
5 ml baking powder
250 ml fruit cake mix (150 g)
10 ml grated orange rind
5 ml bicarbonate of soda
250 ml sour milk

SYRUP
125 ml sugar (100 g)
125 ml orange juice
30 ml lemon juice
5 ml grated orange rind

1. Cream butter and sugar together. Add eggs and beat well until light and fluffy.
2. Sift flour and baking powder and add to creamed mixture. Add cake mix and orange
rind.
3. Dissolve bicarbonate of soda in sour milk and add to mixture.
4. Spoon into a greased 22 cm ring cake tin and bake in a preheated oven at 180 *C
for 45 - 50 minutes.
5. For syrup: Mix ingredients together and boil for 2 minutes.
Remove cake from oven and spoon syrup over hot cake while in pan. Leave to cool slightly and turn out.

TIP
When grating rind from oranges or lemons, do not grate the pith as it will give a bitter taste.

GRANADILLA BUTTER CAKE
(Makes 1 cake)
125 g butter
250 ml castor sugar (210 g)
4 extra-large eggs, separated
500 ml  Cake Flour (280 g)
10 ml baking powder
1 ml salt
5 ml vanilla essence
120 ml milk
80 ml water
45 ml granadilla pulp
5 ml cream of tartar
smooth apricot jam
GRANADILLA BUTTER ICING
125 g butter
375 ml icing sugar (200 g)
45 ml granadilla pulp
5 ml vanilla essence

1. Preheat oven to 180ºC.
2. Cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
3. Beat in the egg yolks and mix well.
4. Add in the sifted dry ingredients alternatively with the essence and the milk and water. Add granadilla pulp.
5. Whisk the egg whites with the cream of tartar until stiff. Using a large metal spoon, fold the egg whites into the flour mixture.
6. Pour batter into two 20 cm round greased and lined cake tins.
7. Bake in preheated oven for 30 - 35 minutes. Leave for a few minutes in tins before turning out onto a wire rack to continue cooling.
8. For icing: Beat all the ingredients together until smooth and creamy in consistency.
9. Sandwich with half of icing and ice top of cake with remaining icing.
Variation
Omit granadilla pulp for plain butter icing.

KIWI FRUIT CHEESE CAKE
(Makes 1 cake)
SPONGE
2 extra large eggs
125 ml castor sugar (105 g)
250 ml  cake flour (140 g)
8 ml baking powder
125 ml milk
50 g butter or margarine
3 ml vanilla essence

FILLING
20 ml gelatine
80 ml water
3 extra large eggs, separated
250 ml sugar (200 g)
30 ml milk
500 g smooth cottage cheese
5 ml vanilla essence
250 ml fresh cream

TOPPING
3 kiwi fruit, peeled and sliced, or any other fruit of choice

1. For sponge: Beat eggs and sugar together until thick and creamy.
2. Sift flour and baking powder together and fold into egg and sugar mixture.
3. Heat milk and butter. Do not boil. Stir milk mixture and essence into batter. Spoon into a greased 20 cm cake tin.
4. Bake in a preheated oven at 180 *C for 25-30 minutes. Turn out onto a wire rack.
Divide sponge cake horizontally into two or three layers and set aside.
5. For filling: Sponge gelatine in the water and dissolve over hot water.
6. Place egg yolks, sugar and milk in a heavy-based saucepan and bring to the boil. Whisk constantly while bringing to the boil. Remove from heat; stir in gelatine.
7. Add cottage cheese and essence, and fold in beaten egg whites.
8. Beat cream with remaining sugar and add to egg mixture, beating lightly until smooth
9. To assemble: Place one layer of cake in base of the 20 cm loose-bottomed cake tin. Spoon one third of filling over and repeat with other sponges and filling. Leave to set in refrigerator. Arrange fruit on top of cheesecake.
Divide a cake layer by pulling strong gut or thread horizontally through it.

ORANGE YOGHURT CAKE
(Makes ± 20 squares)
100 g butter or margarine
10 ml grated orange rind
200 ml castor sugar (160 g)
2 extra large eggs
80 ml orange juice
375 ml self-raising flour (210 g)
2 ml salt
375 ml natural yoghurt

1. Beat butter, rind and sugar together in a bowl until light and creamy. Beat in eggs one at a time. Stir in orange juice.
2. Sift flour and salt and add to mixture alternately with yoghurt.
3. Pour mixture into a lined and greased cake tin of about 18 x 26 cm.
4. Bake in a preheated oven at 160 °C for 45 – 50 minutes. Leave in tin for a few minutes, then turn out to cool on a wire rack. Dust with icing sugar.

TIP
Use flavoured yoghurts such as granadilla or apricot.

SPICY FRUIT LOAF
(Makes 1 loaf)
500 ml cake flour (280 g)
10 ml baking powder
5 ml bicarbonate of soda
3 ml ground cinnamon
3 ml ground ginger
3 ml mixed spice
3 ml nutmeg
125 ml Snowflake Nutty Wheat (75 g)
200 ml caramel brown sugar (150 g)
250 ml sour milk
1 extra-large egg
60 ml cooking oil
60 ml sultanas or raisins, optional

1. Preheat oven to 180 °C.
2. Sift dry ingredients into a bowl.
3. Add the Nutty Wheat and brown sugar.
4. Beat in the sour milk, egg, oil and sultanas and mix well together.
5. Pour into a greased 23 cm loaf tin and bake in preheated oven for 40 - 45 minutes.

RHUBARB BREAD

1 1/2 cups brown sugar, packed
2/3 cup oil
1 egg
1 C buttermilk
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 cups flour
2 cups diced rhubarb
1/2 cup chopped nuts
1 Tbl soft butter
1/4 C granulated sugar

Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease 2 8x4-inch loaf pans.

Combine in a bowl the brown sugar and oil. Stir well until smooth. Add egg, buttermilk, salt, soda, vanilla and flour. Blend until moist. Fold in rhubarb and nuts. Turn batter into prepared loaf pans.

Combine butter, and sugar until crumbly: Sprinkle over batter.

Bake at 350 F 50 to 55 minutes, or until bread passes the toothpick test. Turn out onto racks and cool before slicing. Slice into about 20 slices per loaf.  

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